I get sad sometimes. It's normal, it's human, and I've got a system. A part of this system is a YouTube playlist titled “When I forget who I am.” It's a list of videos that for one reason or another inspire me, and remind me of who I am. The very first video is incredibly dumb and boyish. It's called-
It's a group of people jumping and climbing very precisely on an urban landscape. It's set in France to a French rapper's happy-go-lucky instrumental music. There's barely any dialogue or showboating. There's no exhilarating roof-jumping, it's relatively small stuff. It's sort of silly looking and athletic, and maybe a bit rude to use public infrastructure as a playground. However, it's pure spontaneity. It's creativity in motion, and these people are forming communities and becoming more fit because of it. It reminds me being younger in high school, how practicing techniques gave me focus. Parkour also gave me a way to use my anxiety properly, using it to learn my limits and how malleable they are.
The second video is something called-
This is a 15-minute animated parody of a game called Dark Souls II. It's filled with dumb bits, outdated references to pop culture, and esoteric jokes about the game. It's never failed to make me happy. It's got the energy of just two friends getting into shenanigans. It's got such a opposite tone to the original game, which you may have guessed is...dark. It's a goofy fun-filled time. The animation isn't perfect, but when I watch it, I'm not critical about it. I'm just enjoying it on its own merits. That is a very gentle reminder to the perfectionist me who wants to be an animator. It's okay if my animations don't have the best anatomy, the most volumetric figures, or impressive backgrounds, if I'm enjoying it, great! It also ends with one player asking the other, after finally overcoming everything, if they want to do it again. That line is delivered with a sincere longing to play with a friend. That's the least esoteric thing I can think of.
After that video ends, a video called
is up next.
This is an edutainment video essay on the philosophy of logic. It blew my mind when I first saw it. That first line always draws me in. The narrator asks the viewer to close their eyes and picture their knowledge, and then asks if we believe it can grow, and from there it branches out. It did more than spark my curiosity and teach me something. How this essayist illustrates their points is personal, with footage of his child playing with blocks, and artful. When I see this video, I feel like my brain has reset to being a brain. In a strange way, it's like I'm not a person, but an organism, seeking information. It gives me that feeling of being a child again, wondering why this and why that. It's pragmatic and grounding and makes me feel smart.
A much less cerebral video follows called:
Breaking Rust is an animation made in the early 2000's by 2D FX artist Kensei Thomas. This features stick-figures fighting set to Break It Out by The Rocket Summer. The fun thing that really inspires me about this animation, other than pandering to the inner fantasies of a pre-teen me, is it improves as it goes on. It was about the artist shaking off their rust. At the end, Thomas personally thanks everyone who encouraged them. The attitude that is reflected in the end is just cathartic. This person, at the end this video, was clearly empowered and I hope the same for them in the future. At the same time of watching two characters battle it out, you're watching the artist use the medium to battle through feelings of inadequacy, push themselves, and ultimately come out on top.
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